If Students Wrote the Bible...

Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before and pull an all-nighter.

The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning--cold.

The Ten Commandments would actually be only five--double-spaced and written in a large font.

To limit reselling, a new edition would be published every two years.

Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.

Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's email to abuse@romans.gov.

Reason Cain killed Abel: they were roommates.

Reason why Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years: they didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.

Source: Inspirational Jokes

Keeping Your Identity

According to a recent edition of CAA Magazine, almost 1.7 million Canadians were victimized by identity theft in 2008.

The best defense against having your identity stolen is to be aware of the risks.

Consider the following tips:

• Limit the number of credit cards and personal identification documents that you carry.

• Do not let your cards out of your sight. If possible, avoid giving your credit card to restaurant servers or gas-station attendants.

• Make photocopies of any ID you carry and keep them at home.

• Protect your computer by using up-to-date software and check that your firewall is always on.

• Use a low-limit credit card for online purchases.

If you are a victim...

• Report your suspicions to www.phonebusters.com or call 1-888-495-8501.

• Notify your bank and contact Canada's two credit bureaus, Equifax and TransUnion.
  

A Low Glycemic Diet

After hearing about Nia Vardalos' successful weight loss, I decided to learn more about low glycemic diets.

This diet has Canadian roots! Over 20 years, Dr. David Jenkins, a professor of nutritional sciences at the University of Toronto developed the glycemic index. This index measures the speed at which carbohydrates break down in our digestive system and turn into glucose, the body's main source of energy.

A food that is digested and absorbed quickly has a high GI value. For example, a fast-food lunch of double cheeseburger, fries, and a Coke gives a short-term high, but we start feeling tired, sluggish, and hungry by mid-afternoon.

Low GI foods, such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, pasta, beans and low-fat dairy products take longer to digest, deliver a steady supply of sugar to our bloodstream and leave us feeling fuller for a longer time. As a result, we consume less food and fewer calories, without going hungry.

In his book, The G.I. Clinic, Rick Gallop provides an easy-to-follow colour coded system. He has done all the calculations and measurements and sorted food according to the colours of the traffic light.

Red-Light Foods are to be avoided. With GI values greater than 70, they make it impossible to lose weight.

Yellow-Light Foods are mid-range GI foods that should be treated with caution. They should be avoided if you are trying to lose weight. If you have reached your ideal weight, you can occasionally indulge. They have GI values between 55 and 70.

Green-Light Foods are low GI, low in fat and lower in calories. With GI values less than 55, these are the foods that will allow you to lose weight.

Multitasking Or Not?

What is your definition of multitasking?

Many of us think it means bouncing from one project to another and doing three things at one time. What is really happening is that each time we start a new task, we stop the old one. We are not doing three things at one time; we are multifocusing. As we start and stop, we lose both focus and time.

Multifocusing our way through life ensures that we will always feel pressured and stressed. The work on each task is so fragmented that we lack the deep pleasure that comes with a job well done. We don't have the satisfaction of completing one task to help motivate us to do the next. And, the probability of errors will increase.

What should we be doing?

When something is important and deserves our full attention and concentration, we should put everything else aside and focus exclusively on it. For example, we should not be typing an important email while listening to an important phone call.

There are some tasks that require little concentration. And, in these cases, smart multitasking will save both time and energy. We can easily...

• Plan a grocery list while loading the dishwasher.
• Make a phone call while printing a report.
• Pay bills while doing the laundry.
• Exercise while listening to talking books.

A Bit of Humour

A man was driving down the street in a lather because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking space.

Looking up to heaven, he said, "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking space, I promise to give up swearing and go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life.

Miraculously, a spot opened right in front of the building.

The man looked up and said, "Never mind. I found one."

Source: Readers' Digest, August 2009

Dieting on a Budget

I like to hear about successful weight loss stories, but I often shake my head when I learn that costly meal plans and/or intense exercise regimens are involved.

It was refreshing to read about Nia Vardalos' weight loss story. Nia gained international acclaim when her movie, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" became a hit. Since that time, she has has faced a number of personal and health challenges. A few years ago, she was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and her doctor informed her that she also had issues with blood sugar. He insisted that she lose weight.

Over the course of a year, Nia lost 40 pounds and got healthier following a sensible regimen.

• Stay away from diet foods, they are filled with salt and sugar.
  

• Eliminate all artificial sweeteners. Nia has her morning coffee with half and half and a teaspoon sugar.

• Do not use margarine; use small amounts of butter instead.
  

• Cut out diet sodas and all soft drinks.

• Keep a daily journal and log all your food intake.

• Eat low-glycemic foods and healthy snacks.

• Walk each day. Nia's main exercise was taking her dog Manny for long walks.

Source: Interview with Mary Shomon

Sharing Recipes--Easy Vinaigrette

You can enjoy unlimited spring greens tossed with 1 tablespoon of the following vinaigrette. It can be refrigerated in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks.

Ingredients

1/2 cup extra virgin oil
2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
1 tsp Dijon mustard
1 small clove garlic, minced
Salt and pepper, to taste

Procedure

• Whisk together the olive oil, lemon juice, mustard, and garlic.

• Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Cut Clutter

I find it very difficult to throw out books. Reading is one of my preferred activities and I always delight in the acquisition of a new book. It does not matter whether I purchased it myself or received it as a gift--each book is unique in its own special way.

My bookcases and shelves are spilling over with books--I have even started a new section in my living room. It is time to start letting go of...

• The older paperback novels collecting dust. Many of them are over 30 years old and no longer of interest to me.
  

• Any book that I haven't read yet, especially if it has been sitting on the bookcase for more than a year.

• Any book that reminds me of an unhappy time in my life.

• Mediocre books that do not warrant any more attention.

So, what will I do with these books? I can donate them to the the public library, hospitals, or community centers. In Guelph, Onward Willow gladly accepts donations of clothes, toys, household items, and paperback novels.

Safer Grilling

In 2002, Swedish scientists discovered high doses of acrylamides in a range of processed and cooked foods.

What are acrylamides?

Acrylamides are compounds created when amino acids and sugars are subjected to heat above 248 degrees Fahrenheit. According to Dr. Kristin Anderson, researcher at the University of Minnesota School of Public Health, grilling and barbecuing red meat could form these cancer-causing chemicals. But, that is no reason to throw out your barbecue grill. Consider the following suggestions for safer grilling:

• Turn down the heat and cook meat sufficiently to kill bacteria without excess charring.
  

• Do not eat the blackened or charred parts of the meat. Vegetables and fruits are safe to eat even when charred; they do not produce carcinogens.

• Use a drip pan or foil to prevent smoking juices.

• Use low-fat cuts of meat.

• The right kind of marinade can reduce the production of acrylamides. Use an olive oil base and add rosemary and honey to your usual marinade. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours to overnight.
  

A Bit of Humour

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. If you bring your grades up, study your bible a little, and get your hair cut, we'll talk about it.

After about a month, the boy returned to his father's study and asked if they could discuss the use of the car. The father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"

The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair...

His father replied, "Yes, and they WALKED everywhere they went!"

Avoiding Industrial Food

What is industrial food?

This is the food that is sitting in the center aisles of the supermarket. It lacks the benefits of fresh food and contains cheaper ingredients that could possibly undermine good health, for example, trans fats or highly refined sweeteners such as high-fructose corn syrup.

Unfortunately, it is easy to access, often ready in a second, and available almost anywhere. It makes it too easy to eat a large amount of calories in a short period of time.

How can we spot these foods...

• They are heavily fortified as opposed to having naturally occurring nutrients.

• They contain a list of ingredients that are difficult to pronounce and that read like a chemist's shopping list.

• They have powerful sweet, salty, or flavored tastes.

Are You Prepared?

August 14, 2003--Do you remember where you were?

If you lived anywhere in the northeastern United States or Ontario, you experienced the most widespread electrical blackout in history which has been appropriately called the Northeast Blackout of 2003. It affected over 50 million people bringing life, as we knew it, to a standstill.

For awhile afterwards, we became more conscious of energy consumption. Grocery stores and malls dimmed their lights, air conditioners were used sparingly, and consumers stocked up on emergency food and supplies.

This past Sunday, many of us in south central Ontario experienced a wicked storm that created blackout conditions for almost two hours. I have to admit I was not prepared. I panicked and thought of that August day, six years ago when we remained in darkness for over 12 hours.

So, I took some time this week to get prepared...

• During the winter, I make sure that my gas tank is at least 1/2 full. That is a good rule to follow all year round.
  

• It is important to have extra cash on hand--ATMs may not be working.

• On Sunday, my one and only flashlight was not working. I have stocked up on extra batteries. It may also be a good idea to have extra candles, lighters, and matches on hand as well.

• Stocking up on paper plates, cups, and plastic utensils also come in handy when the dishwasher is not available.

• It is a good idea to have crackers, peanut butter, nuts, and other foods that do not require refrigeration.

• After a prolonged power outage it may not be necessary to throw everything out. A closed refrigerator will keep food safe for about four hours. A closed freezer will maintain food quality for about 48 hours if full or 24 hours if half full.
  

• First aid kits should be checked regularly to make sure that there are enough bandages, burn cream, pain relievers, and other essential items. And, prescriptions should be filled regularly so that there is always at least one week's supply of pills.
  

Dieting on a Budget

The average person eats three meals and two snacks a day. That probably hasn't changed in decades.

What has changed is the size of those snacks. It is not uncommon to see people grabbing 400-calorie muffins and Danish on their way to work in the morning. It is not surprising that they are hungry and zapped of energy shortly afterwards.

The right kind of snack will keep energy stable throughout the day, stave off hunger, and help with weight reduction. In her book, Go Green Get Lean, Kate Geagan suggests that we stick to real food and keep it roughly to what fits in the palm of your hand.

Geagan provides these additional tips:

• Make it last. Pack a snack that takes a bit longer to eat, so your brain has some time to catch up. Spreading peanut butter on apple wedges or spreading hummus on a pita are two good examples

• Go big. If you are a person who like to eat volume, then choose foods that deliver large volume with fewer calories. Consider a cup of cubed watermelon or cantaloupe, a fresh salad load with veggies, or air-popped popcorn.

• Never eat directly out of a carton, container or package. You will not be able to keep track of your portions.

• Include protein in your snack. French researchers found that a high-protein snack kept study participants fuller nearly 40 minutes longer than those whose snack was high carb.
  

• Be prepared. If you pack a healthy snack, you will not be tempted by the vending machine and you will save money.

Setting Up A Coffee Bar

While browsing through the Marymount College Alumnae Cookbook, I discovered the section on After Dinner Coffees.

Lena Dorigo, the mother of alumnae Debra and Nancy, described a very pleasant way to end a delicious meal.

Before your guests arrive, set up a buffet table with the following items: cinnamon sticks, grated chocolate, sugar, lemon peel, cream, whipped cream, grated nutmeg, Tia Maria, brandy, rum, cognac, whiskey, and creme de cacao.

After dinner, brew a few carafes of strong coffee. Then, pass out menus with instructions and have each guest toast the country of his/her choice.

Fiesta Coffee
Add a cinnamon stick and grated chocolate.

Mexican Fiesta
Add Tia Maria.

Tuscana Cafe
Add sugar, lemon peel, and brandy.

Caribbean Coffee
Add cream, rum, and grated nutmeg.

Martinique Cup
Add cinnamon, sugar, cream, grated nutmeg, and rum.

Parisian Coffee
Add cognac and whipped cream.

Viennese Coffee
Add cognac, whipped cream, and grated nutmeg.

Coffee of Eire
Add whipped cream and whiskey.

Brazilian Cup
Add a cinnamon stick, cream, creme de cacao, and grated chocolate.

Source: Chef's Choice, Marymount College Alumnae, 1983

A Bit of Humour

A few months before celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary, a couple died in a car crash. They had been in good health mainly due to her interest in health food and exercise, especially over the past ten years.

When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which had a beautiful kitchen, master bath, and Jacuzzi. As they oohed and aahed, the old man asked Peter, "How much does this cost?"

"It's free," St. Peter replied, "this is Heaven."

Then they went to survey the nearby championship gold course, where they would have golfing privileges each day. The old man asked, "What are the green fees?"

St. Peter said, "This is heaven; you play for free."

They visited the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with all the cuisines of the world laid out.

"How much is it to eat?" asked the old man.

"Don't you understand? This is heaven; it's free!" St. Peter replied with some exasperation.

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" asked the old man timidly.

St. Peter lectured, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and never get fat. And, you never get sick in heaven."

The old man had a fit of anger, shrieking, throwing down his hat and stomping on it. St. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down.

St. Peter asked, "What is wrong?"

The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. It it weren't for your bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago."

Source: Inspirational Jokes

More Brainpower On A Budget

I highly recommend Daniel Amen's book, Magnificent Mind at any Age. Amen is a clinical neuroscientist, psychiatrist, and brain imaging expert who appears regularly on public television. You may have seen his special: Change Your Brain, Change Your Life.

Amen believes that the key to satisfaction and success at any age is a healthy brain. And, it is possible for all of us to develop the qualities of a magnificent mind.

In his book, he provides a number of no-cost and low-cost suggestions:

• Since the brain is 80% water, it makes sense to drink lots of pure water.

• Eat fewer calories. Obesity is bad for your brain--fat stores toxic materials and obesity doubles the risk for Alzheimer's disease.

• Eat healthy fats such as fish, avocados, and raw nuts. These help maintain nerve cell membranes and myelin.

• Limit your exposure to environmental toxins. Painting without proper ventilation, visiting nail and hair salons too often, using pesticides, breathing in gas fumes as you fill up your car, and even remodeling your home have been implicated in brain damage.

• The brain needs physical exercise. The best exercises combine aerobic elements with some form of co-ordination movement. According to Amen, dancing and table tennis are the best and safest activities. He particularly likes table tennis which he calls aerobic chess: it gets your eyes, hands, and feet to work together while you are thinking about the spins on the ball.

Cut Clutter

Best-selling inspirational author, Og Mandino said it best...

Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busy work. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!

Dieting on a Budget

I find it helpful to observe the habits of my "naturally" thin friends.

• They will not hesitate to order a kid-sized portion or ask the waitress to hold the fries.

• Instead of a salad, they will order a clear soup as an appetizer. They feel full faster and eat less.

• For dessert, they will order chocolate sorbet, fruit, or simply a cup of coffee or tea.

• When ordering pizza, they ask for half the cheese.
  

• They love to take the stairs whenever possible. One of them informed me that taking the stairs for two minutes each day, five days a week, will burn as many calories as a 20-minute walk.

• When they have snacks, they are very careful with their portions. They usually have small zip bags containing healthy trail mixes or they buy single-serving portions.

A Bit of Humour

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do," replies the man, "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "Everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."

The man below says, "You must work in business."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

Source: Business Jokes

The Italian Pantry

Whenever I visit my mother, I am impressed by her well-stocked pantry. For the most part, I do not have to rush out to the grocery store to buy staples. We are always ready to make any one of our favourite Italian dishes.

What is in her pantry?

• A variety of herbs such as basil, parsley,oregano, rosemary, thyme, red pepper flakes, salt, and pepper.

• Plenty of pastas and arborio rice--these are the basics for many meals.

• Onions and garlic--from the garden.

• Canned tomato paste and plum tomatoes.

• Bouillon cubes, broths, and frozen stocks for Italian stews.

• A variety of cheeses--grated cheese, ricotta, provolone, and mozzarella.

• Olive oil and wine vinegar.

• Canned fish--sardines, mackerel, tuna, anchovies. These can be used in pastas, salads, and on top of pizza.

Better Sleep On A Budget

Countless books and articles have been written about insomnia. Too many people turn to addictive sleep medications and other expensive therapies.

Consider the following inexpensive and natural bedtime strategies:

• Be consistent. Go to bed and get up at the same time each day.

• Create a restful environment. Keep your bedroom cool, dark, quiet, and clutter-free.

• Avoid any stress inducing activities just before going to sleep. i.e. answering emails, paying bills.

• Dust the bedroom regularly. Allergies can keep you awake.

• Finish vigorous exercise five hours before bedtime. It can take that long for your core body temperature to drop. A cooler body is ready for sleep.

• Listen to talk radio. This can interrupt the thoughts that are keeping you awake.

• Do breathing exercises. Breathe deeply and slowly while counting to 10.

• Avoid alcohol before going to bed. It may put you to sleep quickly, but it will wake you up several hours later.

• Use aromatherapy. Lavender is a popular herbal sleep aid.